07 Jul Staying and Persisting
The Dilemma of Dual-Natured Beings ~ published in Cry Magazine
Since the idea of me occurred, I have been dolphin —
ocean-dweller, air-breather. A contradiction.
Not fish, who lives and breathes in water.
Not bird, who lives and breathes in air.
Rather some paradox, some tangled form whose essence is two realms interwoven.
I was conceived in the ocean — world of spirit — but I cannot fill my lungs with it. Not yet.
For I am, in this phase of my journey, dependent on the world of matter.
To finish my work here I must hold focus,
resign myself gracefully to this dependence and not lament it,
use it to keep me humble and grounded,
remembering always to be grateful
for the life-affirming urge to visit the surface.
I’m designed for the labor of kingdom-building, meaning-making, and storytelling.
Every wave and current and tide since my birth has moved me in this direction.
Many have tried to distract me —
hundreds and thousands are the lovers who have pulled me,
uncountable the whims of the universe that have tweaked my path.
To name every one, I would have to write word upon word
upon page upon page
until I am too old and tired to hold a pen.
To condense them onto one leaf, gather them all into a single symbol,
is a job for someone more idle than I.
For I am only dolphin, and I have much work still to do.
Yet the questions pursue me unendingly:
How can I write when I’m swimming?
How can I swim when I’m breathing?
How can I breathe when my longing drags me drowning into the sea?
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